Man in the center of a strange world

Returning to the Self

Most people want to be anywhere else but the present moment. In a digital age there are many distractions, many places for the mind to “be” without actually being. Smaller holograms within “the” Hologram, designed to ensnare one’s time and attention for prolonged periods of time. Where are you if you are not here? Where does your consciousness go if you are no longer present? And most importantly, who or what are you relinquishing your attention to?

You may have heard the saying, “Where attention goes, energy flows.”

Attention is the act of directing one’s mind towards any object or occurrence. When you give attention, you are attending to the energetic space of whatever it is. Whether it’s the World Cup, gazing into your newborn’s eyes, or reading a book, your attention brings your energy to it.

Today, our attention spans are coerced into fragmentation, pulled apart in a multitude of directions simultaneously, conditioning us to accept the constant noise as the “norm,” thus inhibiting seamless access to the pure present. This constant noise takes the shape of social media apps, video games, forums, playlists, Netflix, etc.

In the midst of the noise, I have learned to walk myself home. Like a daily habit or ritual, I have committed to very specific actions that help me return to myself. In a world where most people are being conditioned to accept distraction as the norm, it is becoming increasingly important to learn how to return to the self.

Meditation, prayer, breathwork, dancing, exercise, reiki, nature immersion, bodywork, journaling and verbal affirmations are the bulk of the many tools I have developed access to that allow me to return to the self.

And so I ask you,

What actions or activities do you have built into your every day routine that require only your energy and attention, and no one else’s?

When you think about doing something “alone,” what kind of bodily or emotional reaction do you experience? Do you feel a tightening of your abdomen, a loss of breath, a sigh of relief?

When was the last time you really, truly looked at yourself in the mirror and allowed yourself to look deeply into your own eyes and SEE yourself?

Do you treat yourself well?

Returning to the self is about honoring one’s own needs at any given moment. It is reclaiming the idea of being ‘selfish’ and alchemizing the concept from one who is self-absorbed to one who is self-focused. Being self-focused equates to the tending of the garden of oneself with compassionate care and loving attention. Being self-focused means putting in the work to cultivate the uniqueness that is you.

Unfortunately, our attention as a society is severely divided. And more often than not, it is consensual. Most people choose to invest their precious time, energy and attention into watching television or scrolling through apps, unaware of the extreme polarity that they have succumbed to.

In severe cases, which is what I fear is happening now to the collective as a whole, people are becoming averse to returning to the present moment. There is less of an interest to return to the Self. And some even reject or deny the existence of their Source, as they have become so disconnected from who they really are.

Tragically, from the time you started school is when your external environment began conditioning you to listen outside of your self for guidance and truth, to listen to your father, your school teachers, government officials and bosses, instead of learning how to listen to your gut feeling and trust your own intuition.

I am not discrediting teachers who impart useful wisdom, or elders who share useful knowledge. I am particularly speaking of the system that was created to keep us unaware of the power of personal discernment.

I am speaking of the system that forces us again and again to look externally for our answers. There is a divine wisdom and potency of true knowledge that you were inherently born with. This is part of your toolbox.

Within my own toolbox, using discernment is one of the most important skills in learning how to navigate back home to myself.

Discernment is the action you take when you are assessing the energetic resonance between the self and another person, place or thing.

In other words, discernment is your glorified inner bullshit detector.

Nikola Tesla once said, “If you want to find the secrets of the universe, think in terms of energy, frequency and vibration.”

Everything is frequency. So are you, your body, and your existence.

Discernment is how an individual perceives the energetic boundaries in one’s physical (or digital) proximity, and how one chooses to react or reflect, internalize or project, any external energies or influences.

Using discernment is a practice in and of itself. It is a way to return to the self amidst confusion, doubt, worry, and fear. It is your way of communicating with your True Nature, the Self within.

Some examples of discernment resemble questions, thoughts or bodily reactions such as:

“Can I genuinely trust this person?”

“Should I be here with these people right now?”

“I don’t want to talk to these people anymore, it doesn’t feel right.”

You might feel a tightening in your stomach, or have a dry mouth. It can feel like the swift urge to run, a rush of motivation to move someplace else. Sometimes it is an immediate knowing, a sudden sense of either trusting someone, or feeling distrusting of them, even if you may not know why.

However, discernment need not be negative.

Ideally, you are looking for that 100% full body FUCK YES feeling when you engage with the world. You’re looking for that feeling of being in flow state, excitable and grounded in yourself.

Some examples are:

  • Sharing a free flow of conversation with a complete stranger.
  • Entering a space or taking a role where you experience a deep knowing that you are at that exact place for a reason.
  • Knowing exactly which stranger you’d like to talk to when you enter a room full of people.
  • Meditating on both paths of the fork in the road and choosing the one that actually suits your desires, and no one else’s.

Discernment is the key to mastering trust within yourself and how you navigate in the external world.

The skill of discernment is a practical, psychic defense system which allows you to be unequivocal and explicit in regards to who is allowed in your space and who is not.

Having strong discernment will protect you from malevolent and manipulative energies which come in the form of other people and their agendas for you.

The more I return to my Self, the deeper and more refined the appreciation for my own life grows.

In returning home to myself, I’ve realized that the being called ‘Claire’ that is inhabiting this human body is an incredibly unique energy signature. The only one in this entire universe. And that my time to exist and create is NOW.

From this blissful place of truly feeling and being at home within my Self, connected to the Source of my being, I have discovered a seemingly unending well of creative talents and expressions of my divine nature that I never knew existed before.

If you are feeling disconnected from your center, or if you do not know how to find your center, fear not. What you are seeking is seeking you.

Walking yourself home is much easier than you think. One step at a time.

The easiest, actionable step I can offer to you now is to write a list on a piece of paper of every- single- thing- that distracts you. Consider any activities, apps, people, work, etc.

The second step is to remove all of those distractions to the best of your ability. This requires a level of discipline to say no to what isn’t aligned with your values.

Deleting instagram, tiktok or facebook is an easy first step, for example.

Turning your phone on silent when you get home from work.

Disabling notifications on your phone. Saying no to take-home work.

If you truly desire to return to your Self, you must rid your life of distractions. There is no other way.

So pick a day and start. Leave your phone plugged into another outlet in a room that’s not your bedroom.

Turn it off.

Allow yourself to wake up with the sunrise, without a digital alarm. Give yourself time in the morning to be alone with yourself, instead of caving into the compulsion to check Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, Twitter, and your email all at once.

Take a long, easy hike in the woods without your phone.

Go out to the beach for a swim and bring just a notebook and some colored pencils.

Get out into the backyard, climb some trees, lift some weights.

Go on a walk with no destination, and leave your headphones at home.

Allow yourself to exist simply with yourself, with nothing else to distract you from you.

And remember to welcome all emotions that may arise within you when you try this. Whether it is for 10 minutes or a weekend getaway someplace without cell service- to focus on yourself means you are actively reclaiming your time and attention.

Lastly, I want to take a moment to remind you that there is so much more to you than you know. You are an infinite being, capable of extraordinary things. With the power of your imagination, and the source of limitless power generated from within, you will begin to transcend the limitations of the matrix and break through many layers of what you thought was possible for yourself. So, break the rules of this game. Learn to walk yourself home. Learn to be with yourself. And let me know what you find.

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